We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
