careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
