did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
