miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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