His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I wanna passion pit in your ass
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize