i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
