Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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