it wasn't lemon gatorade
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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