so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
