Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
