I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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