we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
