UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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