so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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