in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
