just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
