worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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