She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
