Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Randomize