My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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