would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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