Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
