She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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