So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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