Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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