PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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