but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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