I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
