Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
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