I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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