What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
