I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize