This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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