dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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