Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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