Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
