After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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