since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize