we made out on top of his cat.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
