problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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