and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
