He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize