i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i drank out of a bidet.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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