But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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