OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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