On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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