What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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