come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
