just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
