I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Everclear isn't food dammit
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
