the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
