Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize