omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
