hotel room ftw
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
