wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
