at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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