What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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