we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize