the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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