We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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