He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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