bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
