and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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