Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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