It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
