I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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