i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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