Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
