At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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