Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
