i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
