I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
